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[A scene opens with Masta Red grabbing a microphone from Pa. He scans the gym and sees ton of toothless white folks. But the odd thing is that they all look like Chris Watkins. Masta Red just shakes that thought out of his head and begins to talk.]
Masta Red: Well I feel rather welcomed here down in the boon docks, so to speak. Had a little run in with Pa and Bessie here, but all was settled and now I am here talking to you. I am sure that all of your know Chris Watkins.
Toothless Old Man: Yesh.. That'sh be'sh my'sh cuzzin.
Bald headed old lady: He be my cuzzin too.
[Masta Red looks rather shocked as more and more people stand and say that Chris Watkins is there cousin.]
[8 minutes pass.]
[Finally the last person in the gym stops his stuttering and says that he is Chris Watkins cousin also. Masta Red head snaps back up as he wakes up from his slight nap. He rubs his eyes, yawns, and continues talking.]
Masta Red: Well I see that Chris Watkins has a very large family indeed. I think some incest was going on here but that's okay.
Watkins Family: Huh? What's incest?
Masta Red: Nevermind. I don't know much about the Make A Fish Foundation, but I am definitely willing to learn all about it. Thank you for welcoming me.
[The crowd begins to clap as Masta Red hands the microphone back to Pa. He smiles a toothless grin and continues to talk.]
Pa: Well Massa Red, the Make A Fish Foundation has been around for more that thirty years here in our little fifty acre plot of land.
Masta Red: Fifty acres? How did yall get fifty acres of land?
Pa: Well Chris Watkins' great-grand daddy came to this very spot. You see that spot over there, with the glass coverin over it.
Masta Red: Yeah.
Pa: He came right there and fell in love with Amy Lou Jones. He promised her that he would buy her anything that see wanted and that he did. He got fifty acres of land and put her a trailer out in the land. But there was drama between dem. He let her have the land after she got pregnant and moved off to some big city.
Masta Red: Just like a Watkins.
Pa: What you say boy?
Masta Red: I said, such a tragedy.
Pa: Okay good. Well Amy Lou had one kid a retard that boy was, but he knew how to deal with money and he got crazy checks too, so he keep up the land and we lived here every since he put this land up.
Masta Red: And where is this bastard child now? Let me guess in 3DW and his name is Shawn Steele?
Pa: Sorry to disappoint ya, but I am that child that she had.
Masta Red: Really. Then how in the hell are you all related to him then?
Pa: I fathered everyone here and the cuzzins that were around had kids and soon on and soon. And I kept the bloodline going.
Masta Red: That is illegal in some states man. Don't you know that?
Pa: No, the authorities never said ennything about it. They always just stopped us from having our keg parties. But enough about the history of the Watkins family on with the festivities. Massa Red we will have you do the first ceremonial pig chase today.
Masta Red: Ummm.. why do I have to do it?
Pa: Cause you bes our guest boy.
Masta Red: What about my cloths. I don't want to messed up my seventy-dollar jersey.
Pa: Damn purty boy! I got some overalls you can wear.
[Star runs up to the front smiling widely.]
Star: Pa, I could take him to get dem.
Pa: Thank ya sweety.
Masta Red: No, no! I rather you do it Pa.
Pa: No, go right along there feller. [Slaps Masta Red on the back.] You need someone to lead you in the right direction.
[Star quickly grabs Masta Red and puts him in a headlock and carries him out of the gym as "Man I Feel Like a Woman" by Shania Twain plays and the Watkins family begins to dance. Star still has Masta Red in a headlock when Masta Red slides out of the headlock and begins to walk away from Star some.]
Star: Come on Massa Red, don't you want some of these white chocolates? [Fondles breasts.]
Masta Red: No thanks. I need to watch what I eat.
[Masta Red begins to run up alittle as Star stomps her foot in anger. He stomps up the dirt path after Masta Red as he looks for Pa's trailer. Finally he finds in and climbs in. Star is right behind him and they enter the trailer. Masta Red goes in and sees that Pa is living pretty large. There is a sixty inch television in a far corner with a digital cable hookup to it, he has a new computer that seems hasn't been used, and he has a trophy case that holds a Mickey Mantle baseball card and a gold Rolex. Masta Red takes a seat and looks at Star he is still mad at him.]
Masta Red: Well could you go get the overalls.
Star: I will put dem on and take dem off just fer you Massa Red.
Masta Red: That will not be necessary, unless you giving head.
Star: [Sighs.] All you black men only want your d*cks sucked. Get on my nervous system.
[Star storms out of the room and goes into Pa's room as Masta Red begins to laugh. He looks up at the camera and begins to talk.]
Masta Red: You know, I really hate dumb ass folks. I mean that has to be one of my pet peeves. One dumb person is Star over there thinking he is going to give me some kinda syphillis that I won't be able to get rid of and the other one is Shawn Steele. This guy has to be one of the dumbest muthaf*ckas to ever step on the face of God's green earth. He actually thinks that he has a chance in hell at beating me. He brags about how good he is, what he has done, this and that, and that and this. Well hoe it really doesn't f*cking matter what you have done, cause all you will be doing at Sunday Impact is pleading I spare your life after I beat the holy shznit out of your pathetic ass. You know Steele err.. uhhh...
[Star comes through the door completely naked and just sits there with his mouth wide open.]
Star: Pick your jaw up off the ground and indulge into me.
Masta Red: Err...
Star: Come on, you know you want it.
Masta Red: Uhh.... You know what I really want though?
Star: What's that?
Masta Red: To get a change of cloths.
Star: Ohhhhhhhh! You are making me so angry.
Masta Red: Heehhe.
[Star storms back into the room and slams the door behind her. Masta Red shakes his head, looks back up at the camera and continues to talk.]
Masta Red: Like I was saying Steele, you are might think you are the big league but son, you are about as big league as peewee soccer. There is no talent in your little feeble ass. How did you get into Playaz Club? What did you ever accomplish in your geek life? Was masturbating until the skin came off your penis one of the things you put on your resume to Johnny Blaze? I mean feel me in. I mean I was looking at your horrid promo and you brought your hand out of the water in the jacuzzi smiling. I mean come on, what were you doing down there? You are nothing to me, nothing more then a hating ass biatch that really needs his head knocked off his shoulders. But you are lucky that I can't kill you cause I don't want to go to jail again, but what I can do is severely injure you and that is what I am going to do. But the best thing about it is that I have a table to put you through also. That my son is something that will haunt you for the rest of your piss ant life.
[Star comes through the door and throws a pair of overalls at Masta Red and they hit Masta Red in the face and she storms out of the trailer. Masta Red chuckles alittle and inspects the overalls. He sees a huge opossum in the overalls. He grabs it, kicks the trailer door open and throws the opossum out of the trailer. He shakes the overalls out and puts them up on a table next to him. He looks up and continues to talk.]
Masta Red: Steele you are going to pay for having that very large ego of yours. You think that Blaze is going to back you on this and that you are not in the wrong. Well come Sunday, there will be no one to protect. I will hurt you badly. Your time is coming.
[Masta Red removes his cloths to reveal some 3DW print boxers. He slides into the overalls and folds his cloths up and but them on the table. He dusts off the overalls and goes outside. There he sees Star sitting at a bench looking very angry. He smirks alittle then walks up to her.]
Masta Red: Okay you ready to go?
Star: Yeah, let's get this overwit'.
[Star and Masta Red begin to walk down the path no saying a word to each other. They go by the gym but no one is there. Masta Red looks around puzzled.]
Masta Red: Where are they at?
Star: They might be at the mud pool getting ready for the pig chases.
Masta Red: Well let's go there.
[Masta Red and Star begin to walk off down a path towards a pond that is in the woods. A huge banner hangs over them attached to two large trees. It reads, "Welcome to the Make A Fish Foundation Festivial". Masta Red and Star walks until they see Pa, Bessie and the rest of the Watkins family playing with some pigs in the mud. Pa sees Masta Red coming and quickly walks over to him.]
Pa: Well you look about as good as I do. Only darker.
Masta Red: Yeah I bet.
Pa: Well let's get it on.
Masta Red: Wait where is this pig I am going to be chasing?
Pa: Oh we didn't bring him yet. He is special, a very special pig. He will be here soon.
Masta Red: Whatever I am just ready to get this thing over with.
Pa: He is coming, trust me.
[Pa walks up to the front of the mud pool and get everyone's attention. He begins to talk.]
Pa: Well fellers, it is almost time for Turbo to get here and we will see if our 3DW Superstar Massa Red will be able to catch him.
Masta Red: Turbo?
[Suddenly a red truck pulls up to the mud pool and a big hairy man gets out of the truck smiling widely. He goes to the back of the truck and pulls out a black cage with the word "Turbo" on it. Pa begins to rub his hands together mischievously as the rest of the Watkins family begins to cheer. The man puts the cage on the ground and opens it up. A fat little pink pig waltzes out of the cage looking around at everyone.]
Masta Red: Look at the nice slab of bacon!
Pig: OINK!
[The pig rushes at Masta Red but Masta Red ducks out of the way and falls into the mud pool. The pig begins to oink as the Watkins family begins to laugh. Masta Red gets up out of the mud pool looking very angry. Pa goes over and helps Masta Red out of the pool and Pa silences the crowd and begins to talk.]
Pa: Okay Massa Red, you got your first experience with Turbo the pig. Never say b a c o n around him or he gets very angry. Now it is time for the pig catching. Massa Red stand right here by me and we will put Turbo in the mud pool and you will have to catch him as quickly as you can. Alrighty?
Masta Red: Yeah.
[Masta Red gets sets and they put Turbo in the mud pool. Turbo sits there and stares at Masta Red as Masta Red get ready to rush him.]
Pa: [Pulls a gun out of his pocket.] On ya marks, get set, [Shoots the gun which kills a bird.] GO!!!
[Masta Red rushes in and grabs Turbo by his tail. Turbo bites Masta Red's finger and Masta Red slings the pig down into the mud furiously. Turbo gets up and jumps on Masta Red knocking Masta Red into the mud. Masta Red gets up and quickly rushes after Turbo who is running around the pool trying to save his life. Masta Red jumps out and try to catch Turbo but Turbo does a sharp turn and Masta Red falls face first into the mud.]
Pa: WOOOOWEEEEE!!!!! Boy we ain't had this much action since Chris came here trying to catch Turbo!
[Masta Red gets up and wipes the mud off his face and looks at Turbo who seems to be mocking Masta Red by waddling around in the mud. Masta Red looks at the pig and begins to talk.]
Masta Red: When I catch you Turbo, I am going to make sure that IHOP makes your their blue plate special, eggs, pancakes, toast, and BACON!
[Turbo's facial expression seems to change into rage. Turbo rushes right at Masta Red and Masta Red just stands his ground. Turbo jumps up into the air and Masta Red ducks and Turbo goes flying head first into the mud. Turbo whole head and front legs are buried in the mud. Masta Red stands up and grabs Turbo's hind legs and holds Turbo up in the air. The whole Watkins family is quiet and Masta Red holds a very angry Turbo in the air over his head. Pa walks up to Masta Red with a shocked look on his face.]
Pa: Uhh Massa Red, this is unheard of. No one in the thirty-year history of this family has been able to catch Turbo. I mean no one. Not me, Chris, Bessie, no one. This is a historical event right here.
Masta Red: What's so special about this damn pig?
Pa: We were doing this as a joke, cause Turbo is a show pig and had never been caught. We use to use him to herd cattle and sheep cause he was so fast an special. There also was a time when spider webs hung over his pen that had words like superb pig over it. We thought it was an act of God.
Masta Red: Like that pig Babe or are you talking about Charlotte's Web?
Pa: Who?
Masta Red: Nevermind.
Pa: Who has a camera start talking pictures. THIS IS AMAZING!
[The scenes fades as Masta Red begins to take pictures with every member of the Watkins family.]
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