[A scene opens with Masta Red standing outside of the umemployment building with his aWa World Title drapped hidden under his shirt so no one recognizes who he is. He turns around and turns his alarm on, on his red Lincoln Navigator. He looks over at the unemployment building and laughs at it as he pulls out a hand full of money and begins to talk.]
Masta Red Man that is one place you will never so me going to for a job. On the real.
[Suddenly a white trashy bum runs up behind Masta Red with a poster and other items of merchandise of Masta Red. Masta Red looks over at him looking rather disgusted. The bum begins to talk.]
Bum: NO! Masta Red I am offering you a job here right now as we speak!
Masta Red Your pathetic ass can't offer me a job, I should be offering you the job of waxing my 'Gator over here.
Bum: Look man, I know we you have had troubles before in aWa, but you are the World Champion, you have the whole entire fed in the palm of your hand, you can't quit aWa!
Masta Red WHAT? I didn't quit the fed! What in the hell are you talking about man? Are you drunk or something or is that piss I smell coming from your body?
Bum: Okay, hold on Masta Red. Okay, so you didn't quit aWa, but why in the hell are you here at the unemployment office then?
Masta Red I am here cause I have personal obligations, things that such a poor mind like yours wouldn't understand.
Bum: Okay, man sure it is. You know I was once a very esteemed writer in my day.
Masta Red Look here man time is of the essence, I have people to see, places to go, titles to defend and you are just distracting me more and more. So go on your merry little way.
Bum: Come on man, you have inspired me so much, so don't leave me right now in my time of grief and dispair. You are my favorite wrestler.
Masta Red Look man like I told you, I have things to do, I don't have time to sit here and argue with you.
Bum: Gosh man that is harsh. You hurt my feelings, you may have moved down to the second spot as my favorite wrestler behind Brian "Action" Jackson.
Masta Red Awwww so sad. Here have some money, so I can get back to the top of your list and you have all the respect you have had for me back. [Whispers.] Yeah right asshole.
Bum: WOW! Thanks Masta Red [Extends hand for a handshake.]
[Masta Red looks at the man's hands and sees grits, looks like some shznit, mud, and something that looks like bird crap.]
Masta Red No that is okay, just wave bye and that is good enough.
Bum: Yeah of course.
[The bum begins to walk away from Masta Red waving and counting the money that Masta Red gave him.]
Masta Red F'N harasser.
[Masta Red pulls up his pants and walks into the unemployment office as looks as the whole places is filled with people standing in line of about twenty. There is smoke lifting to the ceiling as people are smoking as they are waiting on there names to be called. He looks over a takes a seat next to this lady looking at him in a pretty big pink flower, ruffled collar dress. She looks over at Masta Red and licks her lips. Masta Red acts like he ignores it and begins to talk.]
Masta Red Well the aWa World Champion always have things on his mind, we have people challenging me, people dreaming about beating me up, and people that are actually get a chance to get my title, well I guess I will address some of them, cause most of them ain't worth my time and effort.
Big Lady: Hey sexy boy, what going on.
Masta Red Umm.. I am looking for my girlfriend to take her home.
Big Lady: Is that so. Why do you need that little hussy when you can have a real women like this right here.
Masta Red Umm.. I am sorry lady, but I am happy in the relationship that I am currently.
Big Lady: Yeah, but you need a "real" woman to tease and please you. Nothing that little hussy can do for you, that I can't do for you.
Masta Red I am sure, there is. [whispers] Like stratch her back.
Big Lady: What was that sexy?
Masta Red ummm.. Nothing, you might be hearing things or something.
Big Lady: No I think I heard you saw, you wanted to suck my stretch marks.
Masta Red Umm.. Look over there, there is my girlfriend.
[Masta Red quickly gets up and runs into the masses of people swirming his way through to a desk where his girlfriend is sitting. She looks over at Masta Red and begins to smile.]
Girl: What are you here so early?
Masta Red Tasha, you told me to pick you up at 4 and according to my watch it happens to be 4 o'clock.
Tasha: Look I am really backed up with work right now, come back in an hour and thirty minutes.
Masta Red What am I suppose to do until then?
Tasha: Go lift weights, call up Dra\/en. Do something.
Masta Red Who is Dra\/en?
Tasha: Quit acting dumb. Go on, you are hassling me.
Masta Red Bye.
[Masta Red kisses his girlfriend on the cheek and walks back through the lines infront of him. He gets through the lines and see that big lady looking right as him fondling her enormous breasts. Masta Red eyes get buck as he runs out of the unemployment office and runs into his car. He starts up the car and begins to drive away.]
Masta Red Well since I happen to be the aWa World Heavyweight Champion and a number of people are not, I will always have the little bitty people think by some miracle that I owe them a title shot at my title. I mean I just don't get it fellas, we have Jeff Taylor out here dreaming about me, beating me up in his dream cause that is the only place that he will ever beat me, Madman thinking he is some kinda superstar wrestler here demanding a title shot and telling the whole F'N world that he will get one, which I don't see happening. Then last but not least we have Brain Jackson and Bryan Allen competing in a match for the number one contendership for my title. Well no matter who comes out on top, they will get the match that they deserve, but the results of this match won't be to their likings. Back to the little people here, Jeff Taylor, I felt that I really must mean somthing to you in your life. You are having nightmares about me coming to kick your ass and other superstars of the federation. You think that you, a little dung beetle on a mountain of manure is actually going to roll all of that up and roll your way to the top? Sorry my boy, but you aren't ready yet. You my son, are almost like a little kid running up behind me tugging on my shirt, so I will turn around and give you the privelge of getting my autograph. I mean I can still smell the breast milk on your breath son, you are no way, shape or form ready for what I am going to bring to you. So what you need to do is run your pathetic little ass back into the hole you came from, get your skills up some, beat some of the local talent, then I might actually consider you as a threat but until then you are a joke playa.
[4 mintues pass.]
[Masta Red wheels the Navigator into the parking lot of Famosa's a chinese resturant in downtown Huntsville. He gets out and looks up at the sign.]
Masta Red I heard this place was good. I have like 15 minutes to burn so I guess I will burn them here.
[Masta Red walks upto the front door and walks in. There is a huge dragon statue to the left with green glass eyeballs. Masta Red touches it.]
Masta Red Hmmm.. Plastic.
[He walks up the front cash register and hits the bell looking for some service. A short lady about 4 ft 2 comes up the Masta Red. She stands up on some telephone books and looks Masta Red in the eyes smiling rather widely.]
Lady: Sir, maya help youa?
Masta Red Yeah let me get the buffet.
Lady: Smoking or no smoking.
Masta Red No smoking.
Lady: Oka, thata bea $5.60. Would ya like iceda tea?
Masta Red Yeah.
Lady: That makes ita $6.40.
[Masta Red reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ten dollar bill and reaches back in there looking for 40 cent he gives the lady the money.]
Lady: Here youra change, 4 dolla.
Masta Red Yeah thanks.
[The lady yells something to the back in Chinese and a little Chinese girl runs from the back. She continues to yell at her in chinese. Sounds like she is saying big money. The girl looks at Masta Red and she begins to walk to a table with Masta Red following her. She sits him down at a table that is nice and clean.]
Girl: Plates are at the bar. Enjoy.
Masta Red Yeah.
[Masta Red gets up and grabs a plate and goes over to get something to eat. He gets a nice salad on the plate and goes back to sit down. He says alittle prayer then looks back up at the camera after he has taken his first bite.]
Masta Red Madman, my boy, you are obesessed with beating me for some reason. I can't tell your right now, Madman, you are not even in my LEAGUE here. I am sure that you will be good one of these days, maybe when you goto the gym get on the weights a little, hit the bench, incline bench, military press, get on some creatine, get all swole up and come back, then maybe, just maybe, you will be able to obtain a title shot, but until then I wouldn't put my expecations up that high. You claim to be all big and bad in all of the right places. Saying I didn't deserve the Title and alot of other junk that rolled out of your mouth like the fowl stink that comes from your lard ass. I ask you Madman, what in the world ever made you think that you had a chance at getting into the ring with me for MY aWa World Title? I mean who have you beat? NOBODY, but another lard ass like yourself. When you beat someone again? Maybe Sunday, but that is because you are facing a so called legend in Gannon Knight, hell I bet Hollywood Worm could beat him. But you say you want and title shot, you deserve a title shot, this and that and this and that, all you deserve is what you are getting right now, NOTHING at all. You are not ready for a person of my calibar, I would easily smash you into submission and laugh at you as you try to pull yourself up on my leg, pleading for forgiveness, but you will get none from me. Madman, get some talent then come back out again, do your little House Show skit then I will actually look at your for about 5 minutes then turn my head cause all of the garbage you have to say. Madman, you ain't ready yet, ya heard?
[Suddenly the door opens and a large man walks through the door and goes directly over to Masta Red's table. Masta Red stands up with a roll in his hand and looks at the man. The man pulls up a chair and sits down. He just looks at Masta Red as Masta Red is stilling standing over him eating the roll.]
Masta Red And who might you be?
Lex Lethal : My name is Lex Lethal.
Masta Red The Lex Lethal cat from MCW?
Lex Lethal : Yeah that happens to be me.
[Masta Red sits down and takes a sip from his Iced Tea. He just continues to look at Lethal rather weirdly.]
Masta Red So what do you want from me?
Lex Lethal : One thing is that I have came to the aWa to make a statement for myself here and second is that I want to be a ally of your's almost like a personal bodyguard.
Masta Red A bodyguard?
Lex Lethal : Yeah.
Masta Red What are you going to do? Follow me around like a little pansy all of the time?
Lex Lethal : No, when you have big time interviews, special apperances and title matches I will be there to have your back and to let no one and I mean NO one get close enough to cost you the match.
Masta Red Is that so?
Lex Lethal : Look all I wanted is a chance. [Lethal stands up.] And it looks like I am not getting it from you.
Masta Red Now hold up playa, sit down. Now I will take this into consideration greatly. You have the job as my bodyguard, but don't expect me to have you dangling along with me at all times. You know, I do have personal things that I have to do and I would rather be alone then be bothered by people. But you have the job.
Lex Lethal : Thanks alot man, I appreciate this greatly, you will not be let now. You know I patented myself after you.
Masta Red Well that is great. You just make sure that when I need ya you are around, I probably won't just look for you as my do boy or anything, but almost as a follower of some sort. Okay, now you take yourself home a have a good day.
Lex Lethal : Yeah.
[Lethal walks around from the table and walks out of the restuarant.]
Masta Red Hmm.. A bodyguard he might be useful. Oh shznit, 20 minutes have passed I need to go pick up my girlfriend.
[Masta Red jumps up and runs out of the restuarant with a roll in his hand. He quickly starts up the engine and drives out the other side back to the umemployment building.]
[9 minutes pass.]
[Masta Red jumps out of the Navigator and runs into the building. He looks over to the side to see his girlfriend still busy working. He walks over to her and she looks up at him looking sad.]
Masta Red What the matter?
Tasha: I have to work 3 hours overtime, I won't be off until another 3 hours.
Masta Red DAMN!
Tasha: I am sorry baby, I really am. I will make it up to you though I promise. Okay.
Masta Red Yeah. Aight then. Hit me on my cell phone. I am going driving for the rest of the day, I guess.
Tasha: Okay, I love you bye.
[Masta Red blows his girlfriends kisses as he backs up and exits the building. He turns around only to be confronted by that same woman wearing a very big leather trenchcoat.]
Masta Red Look lady, I don't want any trouble today, so I will be on my way.
Big Lady: I know you want some of this don't you.
[The lady opens her coat to reveal at see through pink bra and thong. Masta Red looks over and runs to his car but is cut off by the woman who immediately begins to hug him.]
Big Lady: Ohh I like it when men bring it to me rough.
Masta Red Get my foot out of your fat rolls.
[Masta Red pushes away from the lady and backs up. He looks over to the side for a second and the big lady looks over to see what he is looking at. That gives Masta Red time to run to his Navigator. He sees the lady running towards him car. Masta Red quickly puts the car in the reverse and spins his car for a 180 and speeds into the intersection nearly missing a 18 wheeler.]
Masta Red Whew! Got to stay away from these fat folks, they always want you to rub on their fat rolls and stuff. That ain't something I enjoy doing. Well like I said before. Most of your people actually need to get some kinda talent before you even think or dream about facing me in the ring for the aWa World Title.
[Masta Red stops at a red light. He sees something in the corner of his eye so he looks over to see that same big lady in a car next to him. Masta Red looks over to the right and swerves into the right lane, cutting off a Hatchback. The light turns green and Masta Red speeds off as the scene fades.]
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