[A scene opens with a red Lincoln Navigator pulling up with "Couldn't Be A Better Player" by Too $hort playing. Masta Red is shown getting out of the car looking over the cameraman. Masta Red is outside of Krispy Creme donut store. Masta Red has a list in his hands with about fifty names on it. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a roll of money. He nods his head and enters the store to see a very long line. He shakes his head and looks over at the camera and begins to talk.]
Masta Red: It is a shame that every time you want something done, you have to wait. I hate waiting that is one of my pet peeves. I have waited for that pansy in The Hustler so I took matters in my own hands. Now I am waiting for some damn donuts. It is getting old very quick.
[A man wearing an EWA t-shirt looks over at Masta Red and his eyes get buck as he sees that the light on the camera is on and Masta Red is standing right behind him.]
Man in EWA Shirt: OH MY GOD!!!!!!! YOU ARE MASTA RED!!!! I am your number one fan!
Masta Red: Yeah I heard that one before. What is your name? You want an autograph? A handshake? A Masta Plex?
Phillip Michael Jones: My name is Phillip Michael Jones. I have been to every EWA event ever. Every PPV, every Heat, every autograph session. MY LIFE IS EWA!
Masta Red: Well Phillip it is nice to have great fans like you.
Phillip Michael Jones: Thanks Masta Red. I saw what you did to Brandon Kearse that was funny. What is the matter with that dude? He thinks he can beat you? Masta Red! He must be crazy!
Masta Red: Yeah about like you.
Phillip Michael Jones: Huh?
Masta Red: Nothing man. Is there anything you want from me? I mean I really don't feel like socializing right now Phillip.
Phillip Michael Jones: Oh that sucks. I wanted to talk to you about your feud with The Hustler. I think it will be a great one.
Masta Red: I thought that too Phillip.
Phillip Michael Jones: Why ya say that?
Masta Red: I will put it like this Phillip. The Hustler is nothing to me anymore. He can beat his little peter in my aunt's mouth. I could careless. There is nothing there anymore. I was really looking forward to beatin' his ass. But right now, I don't care.
Phillip Michael Jones: Dude!!!!!! That sucks.
Masta Red: Yeah it really does.
[The line moves up and Phillip is being served right now.]
Masta Red: Hey Phillip could ya do me a favor?
Phillip Michael Jones: Sure.
Masta Red: Order this for me. Here is some money. [Reaches into pocket and gives Phillip the money.] I want it all. It is for some folks at my girlfriend's work.
Phillip Michael Jones: Sure, no problemo dude!
Masta Red: Thanks, I think.
[Masta Red goes over to a table and sits down as Phillip begins to read off the donuts to the cashier as the camera moves back to Masta Red.]
Masta Red: Well after one match in EWA, I already feel a lot better. EWA might be the federation for me. But I have heard rumors about people not being able to do this and that. And cause of that it is going to affect my current position in EWA and that sucks major cock fellows. But everything will fall into place when it is time. I see many people here looking at me as if I am not talented. And that person that I am talking about is that little biatch of an announcer. How does a pimple faced, hairy back, little shznit think he can judge me? He must not be too bright in that little pea sized brain that he has. Eddie Sensation, since you are so f*cking smart. Why don't you tell me how I am going to kick your ass very soon, okay ya little biatch. Enough about you. Onto other pricks.
[Phillip comes up to Masta Red with about four hundred dollars in change and hands it to him.]
Phillip Michael Jones: The cashier said that you need a truck to haul in all those boxes of donuts dude. You got a monster truck to haul all of that stuff?
Masta Red: Yeah tell them to put it in that red Navigator out there.
[Masta Red reaches into his pocket and presses a button on a remote and the truck of the Navigator flies open. The dude starts to smile and he goes behind the cashier to some guy waving at him with a large flat cart. Masta Red stands up and walks over to the side of his car and watches as Phillip and some guy in a apron comes out with about fifty boxes of donuts on a cart and three guys are coming with more carts of donuts.]
Masta Red: One person that has caught my attention is Matt "Madman" Gilson. Now Madman, you are one man that I really, I mean REALLY don't care about. If you died right now as you are reading this, that would be a happy moment for me. You are a complete waste of EWA's roster space you little pansy. Whatever made you think that you could contend with me? I mean did you have some kinda revelation while you passed out when you were jerking off to one of Divine's pictures? Or was it when you had your little stint in the bathroom squeezing out that major turd and you saw that light come hit ya in the face? I mean I have to know man. You say I am pathetic and this and that. But you my boy, are nothing but a follower. You followed me in aWa and now you have followed me in EWA. Get your own career biatch. You must think with you going after me that it will help propel your career. Well it won't. You had better stick to trying to beat Wildman cause you don't stand a chance in hell here.
Phillip Michael Jones: Masta Red, we are finished with loading your donuts dude. I hope you appreciate what we did for you.
Masta Red: You know what Phillip. I really appreciate what you did for me. Here. [Grabs a box of donuts.] This is for your trouble.
Phillip Michael Jones: Cool! Thanks dude. Yo dude, if it wouldn't be too much trouble could you sign that box for me?
Masta Red: No problem.
[Masta Red grabs a pen out of his pocket and begins to autograph the box and Phillip is standing there looking excited.]
Phillip Michael Jones: DUDE!!! Thanks a lot man. I will never forget this moment in my life dude! I can't wait until I tell my friends about this dude. Dude they are going to be shocked dude!
Masta Red: Yeah right, dude.
[Phillip pumps his fist in the air and carries the box with him as he walks around the corner of the building. Masta Red just shakes his head and continues to talk.]
Masta Red: Hustler, where ya at man? Kearse, HA! What a joke. Madman, don't even think about it ho, I will murder your little feminine ass. Remember that yall biatches.
[Masta Red closes the trunk of his the Navigator and gets in. The scene fades as Masta Red speeds off from the store.]
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